I am very addicted to this whole album, it is teaching me new and exciting ways to describe my lady junk. Thank God I’ve found some summer tunes!
Yoda told my fortune
I had a terrible day, whatever who gives a crap. The highlight of this day however was when I thought my day was more or less over. I was walking from a studio to McDicks to get myself a tasty big mac when a tiny little man came out of no-where and told me he could see my future. He looked like he was about a thousand years old so i felt the need to listen to him for at least a little while.
23 minutes of standing in the rain later this is what I could decipher from what he told me…
-I will only have one great romantic heatbreak
-my lucky number is six
-I scare men
-do more yoga
-I should continue on my career path of choice because I can go far with it
and my personal favorite
-I think too much and it is making my periods irregular…
Humm
Once i reached the safety of McDicks I also had a homeless man ask if i would like to sleep with him.
Its just been one of those days.
I’ve got another blog! Don’t worry though, I’ll still be filling this one with tales of my comedic misadventures, this new one is for the true geek in me. Follow at your own risk!
Yesterday.
I was supposed to go on another date with some fool from the internet; instead I called him and said I had a family emergency. Then I stayed home and watched Twin Peaks alone.
Deal-breaker Quotes from One-Time Dates
I have gone on a lot of bad dates lately, like a lot. Here are some quotes (I swear to God I am not making them up) that I thought you may enjoy.I never went out with any of these men again.
-“You look a lot like my ex.”
-“All my friends are women.”
-“This is a terrible time to be young.”
-“Just because my land-lord is elderly does not mean she does not deserve to be yelled at.”
-“I work at McGill”
-“You look like your last boyfriend ruined you.”
-“After a while there are not enough whores at bars that can fill the hole in your heart.”
-“My ex left me with two dogs…at some point she is gonna come up, we may as well talk about her now.”
-“I could never get into Sherlock.”
-“Did you just fucking give away the end of the fucking movie?”
-“I’m drunk.”
-“That’s when I decided to be a sky-diving instructor.”
-“It’s crazy, you look just like my aunt.
-“I always thought I would give my future wife a vintage engagement ring.”
-“I would like two salads, one for now and one for immediately after I finish this one.”
-“What is Game of Thrones?”
-“I don’t own a TV.”
-“I’m actually 18, can you tell?”
-“What is settlers of CATAN?”
-“I’m only in town for the weekend.”
FML.
Yes it’s more TV for you to watch, maybe I’m a little sad, but at least HBO had found the time to make my life into a TV show. Please watch Girls on HBO, it will make you feel so much better about all those times you ate cupcakes alone in a bathroom.
countingthemiles asked: I love that you spelled fat like a gangster rapper from the hood.
Well she most certainly does not have “fat” style.
Highlights from The Book of Mormon libretto 4/4
(Source: all-aboard-the-ssmcpriceley)
Maybe it was the heat exhaustion, but I cried like a baby when I watched this. Thank you Kristen for what you have done for funny bitches everywhere!
(Source: faramirs, via feyminism)
Themed parties are the out of season Halloween for girls everywhere. Much like Halloween, girls throw one appropriate accessory on a slutty outfit and they are ready to drink coolers and dance to 5O Cent. While the classic themes like Hawaiian, C.E.O.s and Office Hoes, and Trailer Trash are all…
Anonymous asked: Got kicked out of a party all of my friends were at because my ex was breakin' shit out of jealousy. How do I face them at school?
First of all, you are the wind beneath my wings! I’m pretty sure the only thing my exes are doing in my honor is getting tested for HPV.
What I don’t understand is why did you get kicked out for something your jackass ex-boyfriend was doing? FUCK THAT SHIT!! Also if your friends give you a hard time just remember it is because they are jealous and not because they are justified. I’m gonna go ahead and say you are in high school, I hate to tell you this but, nothing and I mean NOTHING about your love life in high school matters.
Just a few more months until your life starts! Hang in there!
Excited for The Avengers? So are the boys at Butter and Beans productions. This is their best video yet, enjoy!
PLEASE CONTAIN YOUR LADY BONER!
I love Lana Del Ray, I don’t care what anyone says. I love her phat style, I love her drag queen voice, I love that she could give a eff about performing on saturday night live and I love that she gets murdered by the same foxy tatooed guy in all of her music videos. This video is not quite as ballin’ as “Born to Die” in my humble opinion, however you do see Mr.Forheadtatoo slowly stick his fingers in her mouth.
If thats not a brilliant music video I don’t know what is.
